Couple problems poison the lives of many couples despite their love. Unfortunately, each love story sooner or later encounters conflicting moments and even if they are sometimes good for the couple, they must not go beyond a certain stage.
The education of the children, the finances of the couple, the relations with the in-laws, the subjects which can be sources of disagreements are particularly numerous. Nevertheless, there is also a range of solutions to ensure that these conflicts do not persist and that the love story is not too weakened by repeated crises.
On the other hand, one must be particularly vigilant about how to resolve conflicts. Soliciting an ultimatum is not the best option, as many of my readers may think. It is essential to put the forms in the disputes in order to avoid that these degenerate and transform rupture.
Recently, I was coached by a man who, in order to settle the conflict with his wife, had laid down strict conditions not to say disproportionate. Fortunately for him, he followed my advice and his technique worked because he was able to soften the angles a little. But it does not work systematically especially if you do not benefit from the advice of an expert of romantic relationships. Indeed, threaten to leave his wife is not always effective and can actually make the situation worse. Discover in this article what is the best solution to improve your life as a couple.
Threaten to leave his wife, a way to win ...
For what reasons do you want to use such a method to make your voice heard? Why threaten to leave his wife when a conflict breaks out in the couple? Simply because you put yourself in a position of strength. No doubt that your wife is close to you and does not want to lose you, the opposite would be problematic, that's why you will use the feelings to make it react. This is a technique used by manipulators but if you are new to the subject, I advise you to think twice about setting up this type of emotional blackmail.
The mere thought of a love separation will inevitably make her think. Nobody, and especially a woman in love does not want to go through a heartbreak but by immersing this idea in her mind, you take the first step that is best avoided. Single life is not for anyone, she's used to you, she wants to build a future with you and you've probably already started building it, moving together, starting a family or even marrying you if that is the case. Threaten to leave her is to make him take the risk of losing all this, but to you too.
What woman would wish to lose the father of her children for a simple dispute or a disagreement? The man of his life? The one who makes his heart beat? That's why give an ultimatum to his wife is effective because these elements are its "weaknesses". Attention, I address this article for men but it is also very well that women also act in this way.
You have a quarrel with your beautiful, you think that the solution that you propose is the best for your couple but unfortunately your companion does not share the same opinion and you seek to make it yield? We must therefore take strong initiatives to make your voice heard and to ensure that your ideas are retained. But the situation must not turn against you. The life of a couple is a balance of power, but you should not use a nuclear weapon against your own companion because it would be to shoot a beautiful in the foot. Your wife is your ally and not an enemy. This is what I explain in more detail in my e-book "35 rules to save your couple".
Wanting to be strong in front of your wife is not a great way to flourish in the relationship and your other half will probably blame you for using a form of blackmail to end a dispute that you may have had but the life of two is not always pink.
Pressing on his fear of separation, of losing everything can therefore be effective, even if I do not recommend it, as I told you in the first part, some men come out "winners" but I would lie to you saying that this is the case every time and that it is the solution that you must adopt at any time.
the risks of emotional blackmail for the couple
At the beginning of the article, I took the example of a coachee who had passed his ultimatum but I do not count the number of men who use my advice just after trying to use this process with their partner and which resulted in a total failure and therefore subsequently a serious crisis of couple or even a break. After using this kind of process to bend his wife, they tell their husband " you do not love me anymore otherwise you would not react that way, "which is devastating for the relationship.
Threaten to leave his wife do not always guarantee to impose your ideas.You try to play on his emotional dependence, by showing him your departure from home but if you were just addicted? If it was you who were not able to be happy without it, do you think that such a method would be effective? Of course the answer is no. You must not think you are overpowering and believe that she will accept everything for love.
The majority of men who use this method do so because they are desperate and have no other way of being heard by their partner. And when the latter still refuses to prove them right, they find themselves completely devoid of means to get up and go back. Because yes, did you imagine your reaction if your wife accepted your separation?
Before using this scheme for a better life as a couple, you must ask yourself one single question:
Would you really be able to put your threat to work?
When you're young or you've been around for a while and have not had time to build a real story, what I call the love at first sight or PSC for the intimate, it does not pose any particular problems, and again. But with time you are more than a couple, you have a home. It is therefore risky to question everything by threatening to leave everything.
You have children, a house and under the pretext of an argument, as serious as it is, you plan to tackle everything?
I guess that's what you want your wife to believe. So act shrewdly and do things right. You better be credible and have acting talent to the Vince Vaughn in the movie the breakup!
But beware, this is not a long-term solution. By provoking this fear in your wife, you can be a "winner" once or twice, but that does not mean that your couple will be better off. For sincerely solve a couple quarrel we must find effective communication and make concessions. I say it often because it is essential to remember it, the communication is a pillar of the couple, of the sentimental life and too many people seem to have forgotten it. By establishing a healthy dialogue in your relationship you will avoid reaching the threats in difficult times. So you will avoid destabilizing your couple unnecessarily.
Your love life coach