Here are some typical differences between men and women in relation to infidelity (a question that many people ask themselves). Men and women have a different perception of infidelity, and this, of course, influences the way they respond to it. The purpose of this post as precedents on the theme, is to help you:
- understand that what you feel rather typical in all who go through this situation
- better understand what your spouse feels.
Typical differences between men and women who experience infidelity
Women try to preserve their marriage, men flee : In general, women tend to want to save and maintain marriage. Men, on the other hand, tend to put an end to it and look for someone else (who will give them the attention and love they think they deserve).
Women are depressed, men get angry: Women tend to be depressed and to blame themselves. Women tend to attribute their husband's infidelity to the fact that they have no value as a person even though of course it has nothing to do with it! Men, on the other hand, attribute the infidelity of their wives to the fact that they are sexually incapable, which makes them jealous and potentially violent towards their wives and lovers.
But whoever commits adultery with a woman is meaningless, the one who wants to be lost acts in this way; He will have nothing but plague and ignominy, And his reproach will not be effaced. For jealousy makes a man angry, and he is pitiless in the day of vengeance; He has no regard to any ransom, And he is inflexible, even if you multiply the gifts. (Proverbs 6: 32-35)
Women feel inadequate as companions, men feel inadequate as lovers. In women the size of infidelity is magnified and suddenly it takes them a long time to heal. Feelings such as bitterness, pain and feelings of insecurity can linger in their hearts for a long time. While men tend to "compartmentalize" their pain and move on. For example, they will invest in activities that give them a sense of mastery and competence.
Women make this situation an obsession, men lose their self-esteem.
Typical differences between men and women who are unfaithful
Women are looking for a soul mate, men are looking for someone to have fun with : Women tend to think that their infidelity is justified when it is through love that they do it (and they tend to attach themselves emotionally as well as sexually to their lover) and men tend to think that their infidelity is justified if not for love (they tend to think that sex outside marriage is OK as long as it's just passing by, that they do not attach emotionally and that nobody discovers them).
Women are anxious about their infidelity while men enjoy it.
Of course, there are exceptions! As Christians, infidelity should not even be mentioned in our homes (Ephesians 5: 3) because of the One we represent. However, whatever the situations we go through we have this assurance that He is able to save, restore, recover, heal. Whatever your situation, unfaithful spouse or spouse who has been betrayed by the other, do not flee far from JESUS but throw yourself into His arms of love because no one can understand you and heal you completely as He will.
God bless you!
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If your marriage is threatened because of adultery, know that GOD CAN ALL RESTORE!!! Listen to this video series and be encouraged!