I can not say enough that the arguments in the couple are detrimental to the development of both partners. By this word, I evoke as much the daily quarrels for trivialities as the much more important disagreements. Each disagreement provokes questions and raises doubts about the relationship.
That's what happened to Charlotte * who had a break just a few days ago. From the beginning of her story she explains "my ex is in doubt but following an argument he made his decision: he wants to break". She expects from my analysis answers on how to improve his story and especially to recover his ex.
The readers' mail is a topic that changes the way you perceive the winback and I'm happy. So I let you discover the story of the day especially if you had a tendency to be constantly under tension with your ex and that even after the separation disputes remain.
If like Charlotte you want your story to be published and I send you an answer, feel free to leave a comment at the bottom of this article with as much information as possible.
My ex is in doubt and yet everything can change!
I am Charlotte and I wish more than recover my ex with whom I stayed for 2 years. He left me a few days ago because he does not want to stay with me anymore and he does not know if he wants it to end or not. My ex is in doubt and I do not know how to make him react.
And there last night he told me that in the end he was sure and certain of his decision and he would not come back with me. I was shocked and I do not know what to do because you must also know that we have already been separated many times but then I must admit that it was really different.
I feel like I have not done enough for him, he's bored when he's with me and he found our relationship getting boring and uninteresting because we did not share enough things. We had a little disputed all the weekend before our break.
So my ex told me we had nothing more to say to each other. And there I feel that it's really the end I do not know what to do except tell me not to talk to him anymore ... But how long do you think the radio silence should last? and will he ever come back one day? Will I miss him and will his desire ever come back?
I would like to tell you that he drives me crazy and that I am madly in love with him and I hope that you will be able to answer my questions and explain to me how to bring back my man.
A big thank you, as much for your listening and your kindness as for your advices. "
The expert's opinion: repeated breaks destroy links
Charlotte, when I read your story I immediately feel that you are really very in love with your ex. Besides, it may even be a little excessive because it probably leads to fear his reaction. As for many people, this can come to disturb your reconquest because you are on restraint and suddenly you can fear to set up actions for fear of his reaction.
The first step of your reconquest will have to be placed under the sign of the personal reconstruction and the confidence-building.
You recognize your wrong by mentioning that you have not maintained enough the relationship and that suddenly it went round. It is essential, whether during the first months or after 30 years of marriage, to always try to do new activities and never fall into the routine. In addition, I imagine you are young and your story was still recent. He probably fears having a monotonous couple life.
There is another element to consider in your story and it is extremely important. This is the many ruptures that took place before this one ... It is necessary to differentiate between rupture and disputes because it has absolutely nothing to do with it either in the intensity but also in the feeling.
An argument has consequences on the couple but it is still possible to restart the machine. On the other hand a separation is terrible for the couple because it proves that there is a real dysfunction. This does not mean that there are no feelings between you, but in these conditions you have to find a compromise and not pronounce the words that risk calling everything into question.
A rupture is irreversible. Sometimes it is still possible to pick up the pieces but in most cases something is broken. After a break, it's a bit the same thing too but a separation really marks the spirits. The ideal duration of radio silence is 3 weeks but it must be admitted that each situation has its own specificities and that to give you a precise answer it is better that we discuss your relationship during a more in-depth coaching.
If you manage to show that you are ready to change for good and fill it, then you will be able to win it back. So I'm pretty optimistic even though he claims he will not come back. On the other hand, these multiple repetitive breaks risk to weigh when its choice will be realized.
It's up to you to put the right actions in place and see that you are evolving and that you understand your mistakes. He will see your efforts and this is likely to make him come back to you to consider a serious story again. By cons I warn you immediately it will be necessary in the future not only stop breaking for a yes or a no, but also put an end to your arguments. Sometimes quarrels in the couple can reinforce it, but when it's repetitive, it tends to become boring for both partners.
To know if you will miss him, I think that at the beginning of your silence he will not feel the lack too much but after several days there will be an impact. You've been together for a while, so he's used to being pampered or at least listening to your voice several times a day, or receiving some text messages.
On the other hand, you must not think that only the fact of missing him will allow you to win him back. You must absolutely show him that you are putting in place a real change and that you are doing a lot of work on you in order to match him and that your story takes a new and much more pleasant turn. It will be important for him to think about coming back.
The counselor when my ex is in doubt!
* To preserve the anonymity of the person who wrote the testimony, the first name was changed.