How to help my anorexic friend?

How to help my anorexic friend?

I have an anorexic friend. We live very close, she can not do without me and she only eats when she is with me. She does not stop making me blackmail like "Do not come home if you want but I will not eat ...". She has come to weigh 35 kilos for 1m75 ... I can not stand this psychological pressure. I can not stop thinking about her, it's become an obsession. what to do to help him? To not feel guilty? To stop making me suffer for his suffering? Louise, age 16

Gérard Apfeldorfer

Psychiatrist and psychotherapist


Your friend is very sick. It must be supported by professionals. To read to you, one has the impression that it is not the case.

How is it? And his parents? Are they not aware of their daughter's anorexia, of the gravity of the situation? The problem of your friend is beyond you and you do not have to replace you, his parents or doctors.

If your friend's parents are not aware of their daughter's situation, perhaps you should first talk to them about it and let them know. Your own parents might be able to help you there.

You must then talk to your friend. To say truths sometimes unpleasant to hear, it is also the role of a true friend. In reality, it uses you as an excuse for not healing, and let the situation continue. This situation is destructive for you because you have neither the strength nor the capacity to assume it. But also, it is not doing him a service to take his problems to your account, accepting to play nurses and amateur psychotherapists!

Leave this job to the pros. Only then, when she agrees to really heal, you can become your friend's friend again.


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