Rape, this barbarous act

At the age of fifteen I was kidnapped, sequestered, raped and tortured. It is the qualification given when I lodge a complaint that is important: kidnapping, kidnapping, rape on minor, accompanied by acts of torture and barbarity. I never spoke of this barbaric act until April 2005 when I lost a lead and wanted to end my life. Everything was chained quickly, I was hospitalized in a psychiatric clinic in February and I started speaking in April. There, I had to identify my attacker on photo first, then at the police station. He was detained ... followed the interminable hearings with the investigating judge. I had a blue fright of the confrontation, then I confronted it. I was left a little "quiet" until the day when, horror, my lawyer called me to tell me that the other party had asked for a reconstruction. I did not even think it existed for this kind of crime!

It took me a while to accept, but I did. Still, I knew it was a tactic to trouble me and make me sink ... I had very bad moments in my life, but this one went beyond everything. The day "J", I finally could prove that everything he had done to me was horrible, monstrous, terrifying finally no words can describe that ... In short he is still in prison awaiting trial at the assizes . I'm recovering slowly but surely. I have been through extreme phases since I was fifteen. I fell into anorexia, bulimia, then depression. I had suicidal thoughts, acting out (I almost went through it several times) ... I do not count any more sleepless nights. I cried for a long time, but now my eyes are dry. Have I cried too much? Yes, probably. The worst is the self-injury (scarification) which I still have trouble getting rid of today.

All that to say that finally after eight years of silence, a lot of psychological and physical suffering, I'm doing pretty well. I reduced my medication because I was really far away with all that, I resume a rhythm of life correct. I try not to sleep during the day, I resume a sporting activity. And above all, I put myself deeply in my therapy because I have been followed for a long time by a psychiatrist, a psychologist and a psychomotrician, who really helped me a lot to take the soft side of life and especially to resume little by little confidence in myself.

I will not lie to you by telling you that I am at the top. I always have difficult moments (especially scarifications and nightmares) but I have a lot of willpower. This is the most important thing to do. The entourage is also very much in the process of healing and I can not thank them enough for the support I have enjoyed since I unveiled everything, my fiance is very patient, thankfully, because he drooled with me but I would everything to give him that love of which he has covered me for seven years that we are together.I almost lost everything last year, but now I look to the future my well-being my family and my fiancé.

You can trust justice. That's right, I doubted because they spared me nothing during the procedure. But finally, it's a bad thing for a good because we will arrive at the meeting with a complete file, so I can now hope for a heavy sentence or even perpetuity. Why not? I now grant myself the right to dream. You see that despite the worst things we live we can get by, the whole thing is to want it.

I hope to have helped you by testifying. It's hard for me, but if I can give hope to some of you, it's the best gift or thanks for me. I wish you good luck in all your efforts whatever they are, thank you and am with you wholeheartedly. For me life is a rose, each petal is a pure moment of happiness and every thorn a reality. But this does not mean that we do not see the beauty of a rose ... Do the same, life is beautiful, you must know how to appreciate every good moment.


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