Never trust despair

The last two years have been the worst of my life: loss of my job, beginning of depression, my wife who asks for a divorce, the death of my father, then an appearance before the judge for the over-indebtedness linked to years of surrealistic lifestyle ... I thought I would not get over it. I was a fighter, me who was facing great challenges, I found myself "on the carpet" by accumulating failure on failure. The infernal spiral lasted until very little.

The hope of seeing things change, that is to say, at least to find a job has dwindled, to get really fed up with living. One day, I thought the worst, fuck me up, and yet I love my children. But too much is too much. Successively, it is a multitude of small things which carried me and made me want, very slowly not to sink any more. And above all, the unwavering support of my mother and my sister, who have supported me day after day. Thanks to university studies granted by unemployment, I was able to meet really nice and understanding people.

I realized that unemployment, no matter how hard, is happening in every social class, at every age, and hurting everyone. Loss of self-confidence, lack of self-esteem, social devaluation ... all this makes you plunge into the abyss of the most sordid depression and it takes a strength of character to hang on. I cumulated all the possible pots, and it's not over. I hung with sometimes the strength of despair. Certainly, all my problems are not solved: my divorce is not pronounced and will be pronounced only when the commission of over-indebtedness will find the solution to these debts of madness. It will only be when I have a real job.

A beautiful ray of sunshine lit up my life for a month. I met a woman, living alone with her two young children. I fell in love with her, and vice versa, with a force, a magnitude I had never known. I experienced something extraordinary, passionate who transported me, gave me a strength and a joy of life. Our story did not last because it was as intense as it was short. We were neither she nor I, ready to live a love story. We had not yet been able to settle certain episodes of our life: she, the loss of her husband and her guilt to live a love story and me my problems of unemployment, money, debts etc ...

life is very mysterious and even if one is a little master of his destiny, I lived a real paradox ... On one side, a terrible life where everything collapses, which lasts two long years. And it's not over! On the other, an absolutely beautiful love, so strong, so wonderful ... A huge contrast.Life can always book big and beautiful surprises. You must never trust despair, it will always disappoint you. It's a man of church who told me, he is right.


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