I am a phobic school
I am 17 years old, I am phobic school. I have been out of school for a year and a half. And I do not know what, do to get better. I am too afraid for my mother, that misfortunes happen to her, and that I am not here to say goodbye to her, even if for the moment she is well. I can not get off her, I'm afraid for the future, what will I become? How to successfully return to school one day I tried the courses by the CNED but I can not do it. It reminds me of too bad memories. I'm so bad, I'd like to disappear forever. lucyb13 - 17 years old
Dear Lucyb13, your testimony touched me a lot. It shows your great distress but also a certain strength, that of struggling so young against your malaise. You say you do not know what to do anymore but by writing to us you show that you have resources and ideas on " what to do " to get better. It also shows the influence you have on what is happening to you and that you know how to explore ways to get out of your isolation. I want to note also the courage you show. I say courage, because courage is not the absence of fear but rather the confrontation with fear.
Making the decision to drop out of school more than a year ago was already the solution you had found to protect yourself from the anxiety you felt about going to school. And, to find you at home, without being able to continue to follow your correspondence courses, isolates you and makes you lose confidence in yourself. You end up doubting your ability to learn. You feel different, out of step with your peers, and that prevents you from looking forward to the future.
Today, asking yourself " how to return a current day ?" you show that you are driven by desire. The desire to get there, to find ways to get there. You also show that you still have hope for your possible return to class.
Until you were 15, you went to school so I invite you to think about what made this possible. What are the qualities, the resources that you have, that you are recognized and that could be useful for you to consider going back to class. Rely on the people around you who would not be surprised by your ability to get there.
And then you're not alone, you know you have your mom you can count on and certainly other people around you that I do not know. And then, there are people whose job it is to accompany young people who, like you, are going through difficult times.This person (psychologist, therapist) can help you understand, what could, in view of your history, trigger your school phobia and also what makes you afraid of losing your mom. You could possibly ask him to meet other young people who have gone through the same situation as you to know how they managed to overcome their school phobia.
There are many ways to discover that will give you the desire and strength to move forward.