How to talk about sexual harassment to our children

How to help teens to make the difference between dredge and harassment ??

C. H: The landmark is simple: the drag stops and the harassment begins when, while the woman has said no, the man continues. I want our society still to be steeped in a time when it was said that when a woman says no, she thinks yes. But just look at the girls' heads when men harass them to see that they do not think so. When it comes to teenagers, it is fundamental that boys can have conversations with their father - or an adult man - and the girls with their mother - or an adult woman. Because adolescents need to feel that those to whom they address not only have a theoretical knowledge of the subject (rules, erections, desire, sexual relations ...), but that they, too, have experienced, in a body of the same sex as theirs.

The girls are still too often questioned about their clothes, reproaching them for having looked for them ...

C. H.: It is time for men to stop believing that a woman only dresses to arouse their desire. They are beings in their own right and, like them, dress first according to their desires. Asking girls to hide their bodies is monstrous: it means that they are responsible for the slippage of their predators. That said, teenage girls who dress up in a provocative way with no idea of ​​the risks they face - such as teens who venture onto the roofs of buildings - sometimes meet in consultation. They are aware of producing effect, but have no idea of ​​the fire with which they play. Because no adult woman has explained to them sexuality, that of women and men. None told them about their bodies, but also about men - their emotions, their "functioning". In many cases, these teenagers have no education at risk. When a child falls on the roadway, it is the reaction of his mother - his fear, his cries, his anger, which however he often blames himself - that will make him aware, not only intellectually but with his body and his emotions that he risked his life. And it is this insight inscribed in him that will protect him afterwards.

How to teach girls to defend themselves ??

C. H.: Playing combat sports can help them find a seat and fight fear. But it is especially to know that they have rights that gives them security: it is you who decide what you do with your body, it is not because you are pretty that we can take hold of you.A girl who has these strong beliefs loses less time wondering "what she did to deserve this", and can react more easily: seek help from adults, call the police, warn her stalker that she will do it. Stalkers are perverts, and perverts only act when they are sure of impunity. As soon as they feel that trouble is coming, they stop. Because they are cowardly. Hence the importance of this movement to free women's voices and the solidarity that is strengthening around them, which we must absolutely inform young people, to give girls the courage to fight, and to boys that of defend them. Too many women say that no man took their defense when they were attacked. This is no longer possible. Men, fathers have a role to play so that it changes. The protection of women will not happen without men.

==> How to explain the Weinstein case and sexual harassment to children? Le P'tit Libé offers a fun file for the little ones!

==> See also

Dealing with sexual harassment at work

In France, sexual harassment in the workplace affects 20% of women. What to do when one is concerned? Elements of answer with the psychology doctor Marie Pezé and Marilyn Baldeck, general delegate of the European Association against violence against women at work (AVFT).


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