I have been separated for five years. The beginning was very difficult because my ex-husband did not understand at all my decision to leave. He was very unhappy. We have two children and when I decided to leave, I wanted to take them with me. I was thinking of setting up a day care system as many couples do, that is, I take care of the children the week and he does it every other weekend. But he insisted on having them as much as me, so we set up alternate care. At first, one week of guard each, then we went to two weeks each.
Today, my children want to go live with their father pretexting that they see more easily their friends living in the same building. I do not understand their reaction and I am very touched. I thought that my children loved me and that I counted for them. But I realize that no. My role as a mother will stop in a short time and I have a hard time accepting it. I am not a very demonstrative person of the love that I can carry them and am someone very authoritarian. My ex-husband is totally the opposite. During our life together, which lasted ten years, he never took care of children. It was always me who was there when they were sick, when we had to meet the teachers, or even when they were babies, I got up to give them the bottle. He was never there to do it. He especially thought about having fun with his friends.
I actually had three children at home. I would say that he is only father since our separation and this especially by obligation. The beginning was difficult for him because he did not know how to go about it and I had to help him by coming to take care of the children at his place. Then he asked for help from his mother. Now he asks me to see my children only four days a month, when at the very beginning of our separation, I allowed him to see them as much as I did. I find this situation illogical. Why should I deprive myself of my children when I have done everything to see them regularly? Once again I was too kind to him by accepting too many things.
Moreover, I am very afraid that he will leave the city where we live to settle in the countryside. I think that's what he wants to do. My daughter is passionate about riding and her dream is to have her own horse. This desire makes her blind to her father's intentions and above all does not allow her to have an objective opinion on the problem. In any case, I told my children that I accepted their decision to go live with their father, but that it was totally impossible for me to agree to see them only four days a month and that I still preferred not to see them at all.They are too young to understand the impact of their decision. But I hope that with hindsight and age, they will understand my decision and they will come back to me very quickly.