Our 7 year old son defies our authority.

Our 7 year old son defies our authority. What to tell him?

My 7 year old son defies our authority. He's angry, capricious, says he's fed up with us and wants to commit suicide. We are very close to him and talk to him a lot. I'm very worried. Amelie, Nemours

Claude Halmos

Psychoanalyst

Responds

Not knowing your son, I can only tell you general things. But what you tell me about his attitude makes me think that this child is out of place; and do not know what his place is. He refuses your authority. Speak to you as an adult would talk to another (in a couple, for example): "I'm fed up, I'm leaving you!" And it makes you, moreover, blackmail suicide. No doubt because he has noticed that this anguishes you (which one can understand).

You do not tell me anything about his life. But only that you talk to him a lot and are very close to him. And that makes me think that you probably are too much. That parents talk to their child is indeed a good thing. Provided they do so by keeping their place. A little boy is not a friend. And he is not an adult. You have to tell him. Explain to him that his parents are a couple (from whom he was born). And so need a life of a couple ... without him. That they have adult concerns, that he can not share, etc.

These limits should be regularly recalled. Because the child always tries to transgress them. And they must be corroborated by deeds. A child does not participate in all discussions, does not go to bed at the same time as his parents, does not sleep with them, etc. And if he refuses (like yours) ostensibly the limits, the parents must not be content to speak. They must act and punish transgressions.

It would be necessary, I believe, to review in detail the life of this young tyrant. And it certainly would not be useless for his dad to remind him that he may still be a little young to be the king of the world ...

Leave Your Comment