My child has seen porn images

Your 8 year old child has a strange behavior: he treats his sister as "slut", masturbates with her stuffed toys ... Taken aback, you the querying. He admits, ingenuously, that he saw a porn movie on the Internet.

Anne Lanchon

Question without guilt

"Children today are immersed in a world much more sexualized than before, which can accelerate their curiosity, says sex therapist and psychoanalyst Alain Héril. being tempted to find out about the internet and stumble upon porn sites, or to discover these pictures by chance, because an older brother has visited these sites before him.Their impact on a young child is extremely violent and can disrupt the construction of his sexuality: by his gestures or his inappropriate words, he tries to understand what he has seen and challenges his parents

You must not minimize them, but react with firmness - you do not caress yourself public, one does not treat one's sister as a "whore" - without making her feel guilty, to avoid associating sexuality with reprehensible activity. " Ask him about the circumstances in which he saw these pictures - where, when, with whom, often? -, lecture, if necessary, the big brother. Finally, encourage your child to express his emotions - was he shocked, troubled, excited? - and explain to him that these reactions are normal: he entered too early a universe reserved for adults.

Reassure and explain

"Pornographic images give sexuality a very raw vision that is limited to penetration, ignores the dimension of love and devalues ​​women, analyzes Alain Héril.They also destroy the part of mystery that allows the delicacy

The child, unlike the teenager, is unable to balance things alone He is not ripe for this, nor on the physiological level, nor on the psycho-emotional level, and risks and to reassure her that you can tell that these images are made with actors, that they do not reflect the reality, let alone your own conception of sexuality, based on about love and respect for others, use simple words that are age-appropriate, and avoid highlighting your own experience. "

Anticipate to defuse

Sex education can no longer do the impasse on pornography, accessible to everyone on the Internet, with sometimes innocuous keywords. The ideal: to warn your child at the end of elementary school that he will perhaps one day be confronted with images that stage men and women in shocking situations, that you reprobate, and invite him to speak about it then with you.Tell him that, to protect him, you prefer to install parental control software. At this age, he will not look any further.

Finally, allow him implicitly to explore his body, in complete privacy: the healthiest way to open oneself to sexuality and avoid taking a model on stereotypical images.

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