Does my son have to take evening classes with his grandfather?

Does my son have to take evening classes with his grandfather?

My son has just entered sixth grade. His paternal grandfather, who taught there until last year (he has just retired), wants to serve as a repeater. I oppose it and the teachers too. But my husband supports his father's project. What do you think? Michèle - Nemours

Claude Halmos

Psychoanalyst

answers

The answer I want to make to you, Michèle, could fit in this one question: why give a crutch to someone who walks very good? Your son indeed enjoys school - which is a major asset - and has so far had trouble-free schooling. He is therefore perfectly equipped to approach the sixth grade and to learn, like the others, to work more autonomously.

The proposal of your father-in-law therefore seems to me to be unwelcome and, moreover, problematic. For a child to whom adults offer support, while he has never slipped, can only think of one thing: that they have detected in his home a hitherto invisible fault. And that, without their help, he will surely fail. He may lose the confidence he had in himself. And the company can have even more disturbing effects.

First of all, because your son can live it as a challenge to his teachers (which his grandfather knows). "He knows that with them I can not do it." But mostly because a child needs the school and the family to be separate universes. This is necessary for him to understand that the social (of which the school is a part) is not governed by the affective. That good and bad grades are not due to the love or disenchantment of teachers but to the work provided. Understanding that can avoid him later many setbacks because it is, in the world of work, an essential benchmark.

So I think your father-in-law should stay in his grandfather's place. And, like many retired teachers, use his skills to help students who need them.

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