My father destroyed me

J ' have already hesitated so many times before testifying. My story will seem trivial to you, yet it hurts my sister and me a lot. It's because of my father. I do not know why he is like that, so hard, and so cold! Why does not he love us? He is always away because of his work ... And when he comes home, it's only to give orders or shout. He has succeeded in his professional career, but in the private sphere? My mother can not bear anymore to know us oppressed (especially me), agonizing under this authority which makes uncomfortable everybody, whose family ...

I begin my studies. Far from him. The distance had to arrange many things! But he has such an ascendancy over me that he can make me cry from a distance, over the phone. Always the same reproaches: "You cost us dear.You are fat.The college is for lazy, literary training provides no outlet ..." Whoever I am, whatever I do, nothing suits him. He never told me that he was proud of me, that he loved me. And I'm waiting. I know he will not change; that he undoubtedly suffered some traumatism during his childhood. But he will do nothing to heal, he will not consult, he will say he does not need it.

He destroyed me: I see myself as a monster. No man can touch me. I am afraid of the psychological balance of my sister, and also that of my mother. Besides, she told us that she was thinking about divorce. Everything collapses. She wants to wait until my younger sister and I finish our studies, and if by then nothing changes, she will leave. Me who thought that despite these problems, my family would stand up ... Divorce can affect anyone, anytime, and for any reason. And I did not think that the fear of this divorce would hurt me so much, me who is 18 years old.

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